IN A WORLD where wars are fought with romance, and flirting, and delicious erotic TENSION, the illustrious and historic enmities twixt the globe’s Great Powers have become a BUTTLOAD more bubbly, with fewer hideous massacres of musket and cannon, and oodles more frisky cunnilingus contests.

Continuing from Part Three, the CERVICAL SUPREMACY: mikeyclarke.co.nz/apocalypse/3-cervical-supremacy …

The story so far: France's new Imperatrix Brigitte Bardot yearns to drown the world's free nations in gorgeous French darkness. The Royal Marines Sex Commandos stealthed into Paris to kick her ass. Our correspondent alone scampered from her trap.

But the lone route Home is France's own invasion force. Yeah. Join the French Army. But! They're radiant! They're frisky! Charlie's adored spending SOVIET SLUTS SUPERB and CERVICAL SUPREMACY strutting his funky stuff as the exotic Louisiana hotshot the Seminal Sorcerer. He knows it's total bullshit, but god DAMN this bullshitting is fun.

Half of France adores this dazzling foreign volcano. Local flirt-champs queue to duel him. Marshals invite him to torture captured Sex Commandos. And the meteoric Alsatian prodigy “Sweetling” Yasmine attempts to seduce, duel, marry, enslave, fingerblast, and spoon him, all at once.

Oh sure, subsuming the Sorceror shall skyrocket Yasmine to Imperial Greatness. But god DAMN he's dreamy. He'll liquefy her without trying or even knowing. It'll feel ever so gooey and pliant. She dreads it and she craves it. Yasmine MUST pulverise this gorgeous rival before she just can't.

It gets worse. Paris's furious cops have reacquired Charlie. They're HUNTING him.

Time for Plan B. B for Bullshit. Charlie's groovy celeb glamour will collapse in hours … so why not squander it on HIS terms?

Why not perform a thrilling bullshit rampage back against Paris? Bullshit free the entire captured Sex Commando strike force? Bullshit free every other political prisoner and captured mercenary in France?

And it'll only mean shattering the trust and breaking the hearts of his paramil paramours.

Will the Sexyverse's last hope perish forever in the heart of Darkest France? Or will Charlie's desperate matey dice-roll hit the Bullshit Jackpot?

Find out!

In Part Five!

The CALIPHATE OF THE BULLSHIT MUSLIMS: [link coming soon]

(But read this Part Four first)

Mikey Clarke