Ambrose Bierce

Curried Cow

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My Aunt Patience, who tilled a small farm in the state of Michigan, had a favorite cow. This creature was not a good cow, nor a profitable one, for instead of devoting a part of her leisure to secretion of milk and production of veal she concentrated all her faculties on the study of kicking.

The demon cow of Michigan will attack any living being she comes across...and when Aunt Patience resolves to marry, every single man in the county goes to extreme lengths to become unavailable for the honour. Such was their fear of being married alive by my Aunt Patience.

Finally she does wed a Methodist parson by the name of Huggins. This is the story of one man's battle against the most ferocious cow in Michigan.
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