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Ph.D.,Adams,Kenneth M. Adams

Silently Seduced

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  • Maria Orlovahas quoted4 years ago
    Being obsessed with sex was the way Tom distracted himself from the pain of the covert incest.
  • Maria Orlovahas quoted4 years ago
    To this day, I still don’t understand why he left.
  • Maria Orlovahas quoted4 years ago
    It is easy to see how a parent can channel his or her passion and energy into the child and how that child can feel like the parent’s surrogate partner.
  • Maria Orlovahas quoted4 years ago
    Talking about feelings or problems helps to resolve tension.
  • Maria Orlovahas quoted4 years ago
    Many men and women have grown up in families where there is no alcoholic or chemically dependent parent, yet the struggles for love and intimacy are similar. In fact, many of these families appear to be the ideal or perfect family on the outside. Such an illusion makes it much more difficult to confront the past, find the roots of one’s current struggles, and become healthy.
  • Maria Orlovahas quoted4 years ago
    Other potential situations include a chronically ill parent or a parent who rigidly holds onto rules dictated by a religious or ethnic tradition. The emotional absence in the second case occurs because the parent is more interested in upholding the moral principles of the religion or the rituals and rights of the ethnic background than in considering the needs of individuals.
  • Maria Orlovahas quoted4 years ago
    When this expectation goes unmet, parents see their children as ungrateful, unloving, and selfish.
  • Maria Orlovahas quoted4 years ago
    There is an important difference between overt and covert incest: while the overt victim feels abused, the covert victim feels idealized and privileged
  • Maria Orlovahas quoted4 years ago
    To the child, the parent’s love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, and more intrusive than nurturing.
  • Maria Orlovahas quoted4 years ago
    The boundary between caring love and incestuous love is crossed when the relationship with the child exists to meet the needs of the parent rather than those of the child.
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