Writing Down The Bones: Freeing The Writer Within

o do writing practice means to deal ultimately with your whole life

is also about using writing as your practice, as a way to help you penetrate your life and become sane.

Writing can give you confidence, can train you to wake up.

Writing is a path to meet ourselves and become intimate.

A long time ago I read Jack Kerouac’s essentials for prose. Four of them, in particular, have provided me with heart for the path:
Accept loss forever
Be submissive to everything, open, listening
No fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language, and knowledge
Be in love with your life

Writing is a path to meet ourselves and become intimate

That’s the truth. It was my idea that I was less than him or different from him. Even many years later, long after his death, I was tortured. You know, I lost the great being of my life. He died. The great freedom for me came when I understood that we were never separate and that I was him and he was me.

Don’t be tossed away by your monkey mind. You say you want to do something—“I really want to be a writer”—then that little voice comes along, “but I might not make enough money as a writer.” “Oh, okay, then I won’t write.” That’s being tossed away. These little voices are constantly going to be nagging us. If you make a decision to do something, you do it. Don’t be tossed away. But part of not being tossed away is understanding your mind, not believing it so much when it comes up with all these objections and then loads you with all these insecurities and reasons not to do something.

Most people are smarter and much more talented then I am. I’m not putting myself down. When I say, “I trust what I say,” I mean that I give it value and I listen to it. I believe in the integrity of my mind. And the other thing that has given me great confidence is that if I say I’m going to write three hours today, I will write for three hours. Now that seems very simple, what’s the big deal? But in other areas of my life—for instance, I’ll say I’ll stop eating chocolate, but I don’t stop. I have no confidence in myself there. But in writing I have confidence. Because I say I’m going to do it and I do it. That’s all. Writing is the one thing in my life I continually show up for. I have given 100 percent to writing practice. That’s what builds confidence.

It was very scary. I had to say the way I saw things. And I didn’t know if people would think I was crazy. There’s a skin or membrane in society that you have to pierce, and you pierce it with your effort. I had to get behind myself, break through, and finally I was listened to.