Oliver James

They F*** You Up

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Do your relationships tend to follow the same destructive pattern? Do you feel trapped by your family's expectations of you? Does your life seem overwhelmingly governed by jealousy or competitiveness or lack of confidence? In this ground-breaking book, clinical psychologist Oliver James shows that it is the way we were cared for in the first six years of life that has a crucial effect on who we are and how we behave. Nurture, in effect, shapes our very nature. James combines the latest scientific research with fascinating interviews to show that understanding your past is the first step to controlling your present.
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545 printed pages
Publication year
2010
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Quotes

  • Pat Phas quoted4 years ago
    Scripting the punitive conscience
  • b8122311165has quoted4 years ago
    They may feel that their toddler will actually benefit from being cared for by others when they are at work, and consequently be unworried about leaving him or her.
  • Alyonahas quoted6 years ago
    If either group reads evidence that contradicts their position, it threatens to prick the bubble of their illusions. The same goes for all of us on innumerable topics. For example, when the publics of several developed nations were surveyed, homophobes tended to see homosexuality as a choice and the result of upbringing, whereas homosexuals and their supporters saw it as a genetically inherited preference. Believing in genes removes any possibility of ‘blame’ falling on parents.

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