Read People Like a Book: How to Analyze, Understand, and Predict People’s Emotions, Thoughts, Intentions, and Behaviors

“actions speak louder than words”

Projection is a defense mechanism that can cause considerable damage and chaos if not understood for what it is. In this case, we place unwanted and unclaimed feelings onto someone or something else rather than seeing that they are a part of ourselves. We do not recognize our own “dark side” and project it onto others, blaming them for our shortcomings or seeing our flaws in their actions.

Even the least emotionally and socially intelligent people can learn something about other people if they engage with them long enough.

dark exists because of light

we look for patterns.

denial and rationalization.

It’s crazy when you really think about it: every person you ever meet is essentially a mystery to you. How can we really know what is going on inside their minds? What they’re thinking, feeling, planning? How can we ever really understand what their behavior means, why they are motivated as they are, and even how they see and understand us?

Another person’s world is like a black box to us. All we have to go on are things outside of that black box—the words they say, their facial expressions and body language, their actions, our past history with them, their physical appearance, the tone and quality of their voice, and so on.

What is this person actively and consciously portraying to me right now?
What might this person be unwilling to acknowledge about themselves?
How might this unacknowledged part of themselves be unconsciously driving the behavior I see on the surface?
How is this person making me feel right now? Do I feel like they are projecting onto me or triggering my own shadow?
How can I communicate compassion and understanding for what’s in their shadow, right now?

O

Shadow projection is when a person unconsciously attributes his own shadow traits to another person.