Laura Nowlin

But of course he never does.

I know, I know, I know, I know. If he had been with me, everything would have been different.

Stay. I whisper to him. Stay in the car. Stay in this moment.

But of course he never does.

They sat close together so that Finny and I could kick each other like twins.

They made such plans for us that summer.

They never stop; they never wonder if they already have it all.

not grasping all the things that the word should mean to them, shades of red, change, and death.

There were so many things that I did not understand about him over the years, but of course, of course, of course, of course, they all make sense now.

I was trapped into constantly being myself. Being “pretty” was a poor consolation in my eyes.

Finny was loyal to me; he taunted anyone who dared torment me, snubbed anyone who scorned me, and always picked me first to be on his team.

that we belonged together.