Here’s the point: you can’t always control what happens to you; but you can always control how you respond to it.
You may have no control over the fact that the last woman you dated had abandonment issues and freaked out when you wanted to take a trip with her and dumped you. But you can control how you process it and how you react to it. You can either react to it as a victim or take control, learn from it and move on.
You may have no control over the blond in a short skirt who seems stuck up and rejected you outright for no good reason. But you control how you react to it. You can either react as a victim (all girls like that are bitches), or you can learn from it and move on.
You may have had no control over the fact that your parents divorced when you were young and your father was emotionally distant. You can react as a victim (people are nasty and selfish) or you can learn from it, take control and move on.