Books
Tom Wells

The Kitchen Sink

An irresistibly funny and tender play about big dreams and small changes.
Amid the dreaming, the dramas and the dirty dishes, something has to give. But will it be Kath or the kitchen sink?
Things aren't going to plan for one family in Withernsea, Yorkshire. Pieces are falling off Martin's milk float as quickly as he's losing customers and something's up with Kath's kitchen sink. Billy is pinning his hopes of a place at art college on a revealing portrait of Dolly Parton, whilst Sophie's dreams of becoming a ju-jitsu teacher might be disappearing down the plughole.
This volume also includes the monologue Spacewang.
'This is one of the best new plays I have seen anywhere this year, and I cannot recommend it too highly.' Charles Spencer, Telegraph
'Wells wrings more riches out of seemingly throwaway lines than a lot of writers manage in an entire play' Evening Standard
67 printed pages
Copyright owner
Bookwire
Original publication
2013
Publication year
2013
Have you already read it? How did you like it?
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Impressions

  • jenniferlerhmanshared an impression7 years ago
    👍Worth reading
    🙈Lost On Me
    🎯Worthwhile
    🐼Fluffy

Quotes

  • hawkinsemmahas quoted6 years ago
    shoulders to his little office. And you hang on till you’re just in the doorway then shout: ‘COS I DON’T WANT TO SHOW YOU MY FANNY. AGAIN.’ He panics and you just run off. Next time you nick something though he remembers what happened and you can see him thinking ‘not worth it’, just lets you get away with it. So you can get quite a lot of vodka really, it’s no trouble. And actually I’m quite good mates with Carl now. He gives me this little nod near exotic fruit then in about five minutes he’s out the back on his break. We get pissed between the wheelie bins.
    And I did show him my fanny in the end but. Just to say thanks but. He wasn’t fussed.
    Today’s a bit different though. Soon as I come in he’s looking dead panicky, starts doing this, tries to sort of waft me back out the door. I just ignore it, plod on but he’s in a right flap. And all this wafting? And I can see him looking at this woman. She’s standing next to him with a clipboard and a little moustache, making all these notes so he doesn’t know what to... Mouths something at me like: ‘Go away’ but, I dunno, I just mouth something back like: ‘no’, head for the booze. I’m umming and aahing a bit but there’s signals coming off the Smirnoff so I know it’s the right one. And it’s buy-one-get-one-free so. Just ignore the bit about buying one. Check over my shoulder, tuck it in my pants. Quite a cold thing to tuck in your pants but. Never mind.
    I can see Carl out the corner of my eye. He’s getting really interested in this peanut butter. Like properly interested. Like he’s getting a bit weird about the peanut butter, and the woman’s thinking he’s got some sort of thing about peanut butter, maybe he goes home, covers himself in peanut butter and gets local cats to lick it off. He doesn’t though. Just buying me time.
  • hawkinsemmahas quoted6 years ago
    Shoplifting is a piece of piss. You just, you basically just: nick it. And then you get caught. And the security man goes: ‘What you doing?’ and you just have to say really loud: ‘NO, CARL’ or whatever his badge says. And if there’s any old ladies nearby, or nuns and that, and there always is, they look over and Carl gets well confused. Starts steering you by your
  • Wajid Sulemanhas quoted7 years ago
    Good on you, Billy. Good on you.

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