I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

These memories made me think how the words ‘That person has changed’ are completely useless in some cases; it finally occurred to me that to expect someone to always be a certain way or consistently do a certain thing can be a huge burden on them.

It’s why we can’t enjoy the things we chose to study because we loved them. It’s why some would rather find the nearest mouse hole to hide in than take the chance to develop their interests.

My heart hurts whenever I think of her, and I hate that it does because it feels like pity, but I’ve decided to think of it as love. And such feelings are perhaps inevitable when it comes to love.

We always put modifiers in front of ourselves, and I’m no exception to that.

I’m focusing on here are the expectations behind that word. It’s the same with what school you went to or what you studied at university. The expectation that all creative writing students write beautiful sentences and all [Korean] English graduates speak perfect English is inhibiting, if anything. It creates unnecessary pressure.

‘Young’ is a modifier I can’t claim forever, but what I’m focusing on here are the expectations behind that word. It’s the same with what school you went to or what you studied at university. The expectation that all creative writing students write beautiful sentences and all [Korean] English graduates speak perfect English is inhibiting, if anything. It creates unnecessary pressure.

We always put modifiers in front of ourselves, and I’m no exception to that.

In any case, I tend to go back and forth between romanticism and cynicism. Crossing those barriers between hot and cold, I forget the lukewarm boredom of life; that lukewarm state is what I fear the most. Unable to return to feeling hot or cold, to be numb within a state of room temperature. In that state, we’re nothing better than dead.

This is why I like people who draw answers from me without even asking a question, or who seem to answer my questions before I even ask them. This connection gives me the warmest of feelings.

On the other hand, there are those many questions that we simply swallow and never ask. I think people are shy, perhaps not everyone and not all the time, but there are definitely many moments where our throats close up or we worry about what other people will think of us, and so we don’t ask.