The School of Life

Relationships

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Love has a history and we ride — sometimes rather helplessly — on its currents. Since around 1750, we have been living in a highly distinctive era in the history of love that we can call Romanticism. And it has been a disaster for love.

Relationships challenges the assumptions of the Romantic view of love. It shows how to develop new attitudes that can lead to a psychologically mature vision of love:

▪ That it is ok that love and sex may not always belong together

▪ That discussing money early on, in a serious way, is not a betrayal of love

▪ That realising that we are rather flawed, and our partner is too, is of huge benefit to a couple

▪ That we will never find everything we need in another person, nor they in us

▪ That spending two hours discussing whether bathroom towels should be hung up or can be left on the floor has its own dignity

Full of applied real-life examples, and enlivened throughout with humour and cultural anecdote, this innovative guide paves the way to a new, brighter future for love.
This book is currently unavailable
110 printed pages
Original publication
2020
Publication year
2020
Have you already read it? How did you like it?
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Impressions

  • Kevin Carzshared an impression3 years ago

    A book that presents a forgotten view of love: the Classical view of love. And it presets as a compliment to the Romantic view that habits in nowadays

  • shnykinashared an impression4 years ago
    👍Worth reading

Quotes

  • Jorge Alexis Zamora Cartagenahas quoted3 years ago
    Few things promise us greater happiness than our relationships – yet few things more reliably deliver misery and frustration
  • Kevin Carzhas quoted3 years ago
    Both Romantic and Classical orientations have important truths to impart. Neither is wholly right or wrong. They need to be balanced. And none of us are in any case ever simply one or the other. But because a good relationship requires a judicious balance of both, at this point in history, it might be the Classical attitude whose distinctive claims and wisdom we need to listen to most intently. It is a mode of approaching life which is ripe for rediscovery
  • Kevin Carzhas quoted3 years ago
    Very few of us come out well from being closely observed, twenty-four hours a day, in a limited space. These may simply not be the preconditions for getting the best out of some of us. Our interesting and generous sides may need, in order to emerge, our own bedroom and bathroom, quite a few hours to ourselves, some space to read and think and a series of mealtimes alone staring rather blankly out of the
    window without having to explain how we feel. It’s not a sign of evil, just what we require to be the best version of ourselves.

    – What makes people difficult and dooms relationships is almost never the people involved. It’s what we are trying to do with them. Inviting someone to marry you is really not a very kind thing to do to someone you love, because it’s going to drag the beloved into a range of really rather unpleasant and challenging things: doing the accounts with you, meeting your family regularly, seeing you exhausted and bleary-eyed after work, keeping the living room tidy, bringing up a child. To really love someone – that is, to wish the best for someone – might more fairly mean foregrounding your best qualities for a few ecstatic months, then mutually and tenderly parting at check-in
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