A Good Girl's Guide to Murder

You killed Barney.’

Oh, but . . . what are people going to think if they see you going into Ravi Singh’s house?’

‘It’s sausage to me.’

Real men wear floral when trespassing

Andrea Bell, 17, was reported missing from her home in Little Kilton, Buckinghamshire, last Friday

An innocent life was taken and everyone in this town turned it ugly in their mouths, turned him into a villain. But if a villain can be made, then they can be unmade.

‘Aw,’ Ant chimed in, ‘don’t feel too bad, Connor. Maybe if you were a piece of homework she’d want to do you.’
‘Or Ravi Singh,’ Cara whispered just to her with a wink.
‘Homework is far more rewarding than boys,’ Pip said, digging an elbow into Cara’s ribs. ‘And you can talk, Ant, you have the sex life of an argonaut mollusc.’
‘Which means?’ Ant gesticulated his hand in a rolling wave.
‘Well,’ said Pip, ‘an argonaut mollusc’s penis snaps off during intercourse, so it can only ever have sex once in its whole life.’
‘I can confirm this,’ Lauren said, who’d had a failed dalliance with Ant last year.
The group fell about laughing and Zach gave Ant a conciliatory whack on the back.
‘Absolutely savage

mellow Andie out

Naomi’s kind; the sort of person who’d give you an encouraging smile when you’re mid-story and everyone else has stopped listening.

taking the piss

I pacifically think you’re better off without him,’ said Pip.
‘I atlantically think so too,’ added Cara