Ten Things We Did (and Probably Shouldn't Have)

Two half-naked boys in the great room. One in a tiara.

Zachary was asleep in one of the dining room chairs, wearing an aluminum foil tiara on his lolled-back head. T

Noah is an ass.

10. Hudson is hot.

Dean and Vi are in love.

But Donut, if you happen to bite their ankles, there will be a can of tuna in your future.”

“Stop splashing,” she said to me. “If you get my phone wet I’m going to beat you. Hud? Why don’t you and your delinquent brother come over and hang out with us?”

dad and Penny scheduled sex. Every Tuesday and Saturday at eleven. I tried to be asleep. It wasn’t like it was on the calendar, but I could hear the Barry Manilow playing like clockwork. Can you imagine . . . scheduling sex? Could anything be less romantic?

paper, and read the New York Times daily. “Girl” would not do. Vi rocked.

the type of girl who hated being called a “girl.” She was a woman, thank you very much. She drank wine, wore her hair in a short black bob, worked out every morning, edited the school

And Vi’s mom nowhere in sight.

I was a dead princess.