Books
Florence Keith-Roach

Eggs (NHB Modern Plays)

    Irènehas quoted7 months ago
    am serious, like, I don’t understand humankind, women, friends, men, lovers. I literally have no idea. And I never have. Just like Scarlett Johansson, I can look, seem, right but in fact know nothing and understand no one
    Irènehas quoted7 months ago
    And it just made so much sense to me, cos that’s it. That’s what I have been trying to explain to you. I feel like such an alien. A hatched thing. This creature who has the shell of a woman but inside is just this weird little alien, just taking it all in, totally confused by everything. Unable to really understand what the fuck anyone means.
    Irènehas quoted7 months ago
    Yeah, she looks all normal and chubby with, like, a flabby belly, a brown wig and kitten-heel boots.
    Irènehas quoted7 months ago
    Scarlett Johansson, plays an alien who just drives around some rank town like Swansea, or Slough? Picking up men in a van, taking them back to her lair, where she does a striptease and then kills them in a vat of space oil and the whole time she is wearing, like, Primark.
    Irènehas quoted7 months ago
    Cos I think you would really connect to it too. You know, cos it’s about being alone –
    Irènehas quoted7 months ago
    Have you seen Under the Skin?
    Irènehas quoted7 months ago
    Yeah, but I am also really impatient and impulsive so ahhhhhhh, I’ll just message him now.
    Irènehas quoted7 months ago
    Yeah and so it’s sort of made me rethink my ideas about the breaking-down of gender roles, cos even though I am empowered to chase a guy, and time is of the essence and all, it usually leads me to be with insecure fuck-ups who suck me dry like a vampire.
    Irènehas quoted7 months ago
    t’s just I have started to be a bit reticent about the whole, taking-charge thing, lately. Because, well, various ex-boyfriends have told me, after we broke up, that my overwhelming enthusiasm and passion at the beginning of our relationship sort of well, overwhelmed them and blinded them to the fact that we, in fact, had nothing in common.
    gamesnotcontactshas quoted2 years ago
    When are you going to grow up and take responsibility for yourself and your pathetic little life? To wake up and realise that moaning, day in day out, is so, so, so boring. That singing badly over a nineties’ rap song is not performance art… or even remotely enjoyable. And I don’t care if it is meant to deliberately frustrate the viewer! That while you have been moping about, waiting for inspiration to thwack you on your talentless, privileged head, the world has moved on, life has moved on. And you have no right to judge those who have tried to move on with it. Or to leech off them for free food and twenty-four-hour mental-health care. That everyone loses people they love, has their heart broken. It’s how they deal with it that counts. That you could have asked me, just once in all these fucking years, how I felt, sometimes. Cos I didn’t feel great, a lot of the time.
    gamesnotcontactshas quoted2 years ago
    but it’s free, so… No, she was just trying to fluster me so that I’d go for the TURBO comb. Twice as expensive.

    GIRL TWO. Well maybe TURBO is a good thing?

    GIRL ONE. It hasn’t worked. I have been up all night scraping my scalp raw and the population is not dwindling. I even tried to nuke the fuckers, I submerged my head in a bath of vodka, you know, to make them drunk and defenceless? I mean if it worked with the Native Americans? But no joy.
    gamesnotcontactshas quoted2 years ago
    I’ve got a nit comb. A fucking expensive nit comb. The woman in the chemist royally ripped me off. She kept asking how old my infected child was. The bitch.

    GIRL TWO. I mean it’s a fairly logical question, it is pretty rare for anyone over twelve to have nits.

    GIRL ONE. No, she knows I don’t have a child. I mean, I was in there, like, every weekend last year to get the free morning-after pill. We’ve discussed, at length, how irresponsible and un-maternal I am. Not to mention how barren I probably am, which admittedly made the whole pill thing a bit of a charade,
    Abigail Fosterhas quoted3 years ago
    you turned out… psychotic… But okay too.
    Abigail Fosterhas quoted3 years ago
    I just think it is really warped that people celebrate the resurrection of Christ by gorging on chocolate replicas of potential life forms.
    Abigail Fosterhas quoted3 years ago
    Or to leech off them for free food and twenty-four-hour mental-health care.
    Abigail Fosterhas quoted3 years ago
    you have no right to judge
    Abigail Fosterhas quoted3 years ago
    talentless, privileged head
    Abigail Fosterhas quoted3 years ago
    realise that moaning, day in day out, is so, so, so boring
    Abigail Fosterhas quoted3 years ago
    When are you going to grow up and take responsibility for yourself and your pathetic little life?
    Abigail Fosterhas quoted3 years ago
    We were Rose’s friends. And she’s gone, a long time ago. So why am I still here? I don’t even like you.
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