The Gift of Fear

When you feel fear, listen.

When you don’t feel fear, don’t manufacture it.

First, the fear itself can actually be perceived as good news, because it confirms that the dreaded outcome is not occurring right now.

Remember, fear says something might happen. If it does happen, we stop fearing it and start to respond to it, manage it, surrender to it; or we start to fear the next outcome we predict might be coming.

if you do fall, you no longer fear falling—you fear landing:

The Suicide, as she is falling,
Illuminated by the moon,
Regrets her act, and finds appalling
The thought she will be dead so soon.

Ernest Becker explains that “animals, in order to survive have had to be protected by fear responses.” Some Darwinians believe that the early humans who were most afraid were most likely to survive. The result, says Becker, “is the emergence of man as we know him: a hyperanxious animal who constantly invents reasons for anxiety even when there are none.” It need not be this way.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,’ might be amended by nature to “There is nothing to fear unless and until you feel fear.”

Humor, particularly dark humor, is a common way to communicate true concern without the risk of feeling silly afterwards, and without overtly showing fear.

A man labels a woman in some slightly critical way, hoping she’ll feel compelled to prove that his opinion is not accurate.