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Zygmunt Bauman

Liquid Love

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  • Дмитрий Безугловhas quoted7 years ago
    In our world of rampant ‘individualization’ relationships are mixed blessings. They vacillate between sweet dream and a nightmare, and there is no telling when one turns into the other.
  • Patti Rodríguezhas quoted2 years ago
    Ralph Waldo Emerson pointed out, when skating on thin ice your salvation is in speed
  • eduardo jair fonseca roldanhas quoted5 years ago
    This is exactly what love does: wrenching an other from ‘all the world’, and through that act remoulding ‘an’ other into the ‘quite definite someone’, someone with a mouth to listen to, someone with whom to converse so that something may happen.
  • eduardo jair fonseca roldanhas quoted5 years ago
    there is nothing which promotes a comfortable relationship quite so much as mutual praise.’
  • eduardo jair fonseca roldanhas quoted5 years ago
    Another perversion consists in ‘our wanting to change other people. We have definite opinions about how to do things and how others ought to be. These opinions are lacking in understanding, because the more definitive the opinions are, the more necessary it becomes that we are not distracted by too much understanding of those who are to be changed.’
  • eduardo jair fonseca roldanhas quoted5 years ago
    ‘When lovers feel insecure, they tend to behave unconstructively, either trying to please or trying to control, perhaps even lashing out physically – all are likely to drive the lover away.’
  • eduardo jair fonseca roldanhas quoted5 years ago
    If you invest in a relationship, the profit you expect is first and foremost security: security in its many senses – of the nearness of a helping hand when you need it most, of succour in grief, of company in loneliness, of bailing out in trouble, of consolation in defeat and applause in victory; also in the sense of gratification that promptly arrives in the wake of a need. But be warned: promises of commitment to the relationship, once it is entered, are ‘meaningless in the long term’.
  • eduardo jair fonseca roldanhas quoted5 years ago
    Promises of commitment, writes Adrienne Burgess, ‘are meaningless in the long term’.
  • eduardo jair fonseca roldanhas quoted5 years ago
    ‘Your eyes meet across a crowded room; the spark of attraction is there. You chat, dance, laugh, share a drink or a joke, and before you know it, one of you asks: “Your place or mine?” None of you is on the lookout for anything serious, but somehow one night may turn into a week, then a month, a year, or longer’
  • eduardo jair fonseca roldanhas quoted5 years ago
    Love is, on the other hand, the wish to care, and to preserve the object of the care. A centrifugal impulse, unlike centripetal desire. An impulse to expand, to go beyond, to stretch to what is ‘out there’. To ingest, absorb and assimilate the subject in the object, not vice versa as in the case of desire. Love is about adding to the world – each addition being the living trace of the loving self; in love, the self is, bit by bit, transplanted onto the world. The loving self expands through giving itself away to the loved object. Love is about self’s survival-through-self’s-alterity. And so love means an urge to protect, to feed, to shelter; also to caress, cosset and pamper, or to jealously guard, fence off, incarcerate. Love means being-in-service, standing-in-disposition, awaiting command – but it may also mean expropriation and seizing of responsibility. Mastery through surrender; sacrifice .rebounding as aggrandizement. Love is a Siamese twin of power greed; neither would survive the separation.

    If desire wants to consume, love wants to possess. While the fulfilment of desire is coterminous with the annihilation of its object – love grows with its acquisitions and is fulfilled in their durability. If desire is self-destructive, love is self-perpetuating.
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