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Richard Boyatzis,Ellen Van Oosten,Melvin L. Smith

Helping People Change

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You're trying to help--but is it working?
Helping others is a good thing. Often, as a leader, manager, doctor, teacher, or coach, it's central to your job. But even the most well-intentioned efforts to help others can be undermined by a simple truth: We almost always focus on trying to “fix” people, correcting problems or filling the gaps between where they are and where we think they should be. Unfortunately, this doesn't work well, if at all, to inspire sustained learning or positive change.
There's a better way. In this powerful, practical book, emotional intelligence expert Richard Boyatzis and Weatherhead School of Management colleagues Melvin Smith and Ellen Van Oosten present a clear and hopeful message. The way to help someone learn and change, they say, cannot be focused primarily on fixing problems, but instead must connect to that person's positive vision of themselves or an inspiring dream or goal they've long held. This is what great coaches do--they know that people draw energy from their visions and dreams, and that same energy sustains their efforts to change, even through difficult times. In contrast, problem-centered approaches trigger physiological responses that make a person defensive and less open to new ideas.
The authors use rich and moving real-life stories, as well as decades of original research, to show how this distinctively positive mode of coaching—what they call “coaching with compassion”--opens people up to thinking creatively and helps them to learn and grow in meaningful and sustainable ways.
Filled with probing questions and exercises that encourage self-reflection, Helping People Change will forever alter the way all of us think about and practice what we do when we try to help.
This book is currently unavailable
293 printed pages
Original publication
2019
Publication year
2019
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Impressions

  • Kelvin Tjiawishared an impression4 years ago
    👍Worth reading
    🔮Hidden Depths
    💡Learnt A Lot

Quotes

  • Kelvin Tjiawihas quoted4 years ago
    An effective way to help people fully explore their ideal self is to have them craft a personal vision statement. We know that when organizations create clear and compelling vision statements that are shared by members of the organization, the results can be positive and powerful. They can help motivate, engage, inspire, and provide a sense of purpose and direction. We believe that a personal vision statement for one’s life can be just as meaningful for an individual.
  • Kelvin Tjiawihas quoted4 years ago
    A coach should also help individuals recognize that their real self comprises more than just how they see themselves—they also need to consider how others see them. Some might argue that how others see them is rooted in perception and doesn’t necessarily reflect who they really are. But the truth of the matter is that others’ collective perceptions of us essentially represent how we show up in the world, which is a key aspect of who we are. Thus, to help the people they are coaching enhance their self-awareness and develop a more comprehensive view of their real self, the coach should suggest they periodically seek feedback from others.
  • Kelvin Tjiawihas quoted4 years ago
    An important role for the coach during this discovery is to help individuals identify the areas of their lives where their ideal self and real self are already aligned. Those areas are their strengths, which can be leveraged later in the change process. Next, the coach should help individuals identify any areas where their real self is not currently aligned with their ideal self. These represent gaps that can ideally be closed through targeted behavioral change efforts.
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