The Sun and Her Flowers

what is it with you and sunflowers he asks
i point to the field of yellow outside
sunflowers worship the sun i tell him
only when it arrives do they rise
when the sun leaves
they bow their heads in mourning
that is what the sun does to those flowers
it’s what you do to me
- the sun and her flowers

tell them i was the
warmest place you knew
and you turned me cold

if i’m not the love of your life
i’ll be the greatest loss instead

it has been one of the greatest and most difficult years of my life. i learned everything is temporary. moments. feelings. people. flowers. i learned love is about giving. everything. and letting

i could be anything
in the world
but i wanted to be his

i long
for you
but you long
for someone else
i deny the one
who wants me
cause i want someone else

my mother sacrificed her dreams
so i could dream

if i’m going to share my life with a partner
it would be foolish not to ask myself
twenty years from now
is this person going to be
someone i still laugh with
or am i just distracted by their charm
do i see us evolving into
new people by the decade
or does the growing ever come to a pause
i don’t want to be distracted
by the looks or the money
i want to know if they pull
the best or the worst out of me
deep at the core are our values the same
in thirty years will we still
jump into bed like we’re twenty
can i picture us in old age
conquering the world
like we’ve got young blood
running in our veins

you are living your life
hoping that someone will realize
they can’t live theirs without you
- realizations don’t work like that

which one of us hurt more
i shattered into a million little pieces
and those pieces shattered into a million more
crumbled into dust till
there was nothing left of me but the silence