Notes from Underground

be overly conscious is a sickness,

My liver hurts; well, then let it hurt even worse!

I know better than anyone that by all this I am harming only myself and no one else. But still, if I don't get treated, it is out of wickedness.

Of course, nothing remains for it but to wave the whole thing aside with its little paw and, with a smile of feigned contempt, in which it does not believe itself, slip back shamefacedly into its crack. There, in its loathsome, stinking underground, our offended, beaten-down, and derided mouse at once immerses itself in cold, venomous, and, above all, everlasting spite.

For I would surely be able to do nothing with my magnanimity: neither to forgive, because my offender might have hit me according to the laws of nature, and the laws of nature cannot be forgiven; nor to forget, because even though it's the laws of nature, it's still offensive.

I'm to blame, first, because I'm more intelligent than everyone around me.

to be overly conscious is a sickness, a real, thorough sickness

And now I am living out my life in my corner, taunting myself with the spiteful and utterly futile consolation that it is even impossible for an intelligent man seriously to become anything, and only fools become something.

though afterwards I'll certainly gnash my teeth at myself and suffer from insomnia for a few months out of shame. Such is my custom

I think my liver hurts