365 Funny Quotes

It’s important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to the friendship that we are not.

- Mignon McLaughlin

If you even dream of beating me

you’d better wake up and apologize.

- Muhammad Ali

If there is anything the nonconformist hates worse than a conformist, it’s another nonconformist who doesn’t conform to the prevailing standard of nonconformity.

- Bill Vaughan

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.
- Oscar Wilde

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, and then they marry him.
- Cher

Somebody said to me, ‘But the Beatles were anti-materialistic.’ That’s a huge myth. John and I literally used to sit down and say, ‘Now, let’s write a swimming pool.’
- Paul McCartney

October: this is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August, and February.
- Mark Twain

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

Education is learning
what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.
- Daniel J. Boorstin