Understanding Teenagers

Young people whose earlier holding worlds have enabled the continuous development of a strong sense of self will take on the challenges, not necessarily with ease, but certainly with determination. Those adolescents who bring lack of confidence and lack of competence from their childhood years will struggle with the demands of becoming independent and may carry these struggles into their older adult years, even into old age.

Maturity means having a sense of your own unique person, becoming self-realised, being emotionally and socially independent, establishing your own beliefs and values, carving out educational and career paths that realise your particular intellectual and creative potential, and establishing financial independence.

The term ‘holding world’ refers to the netw

and, perhaps, denial. All of these responses mirror the inner insecurities of the adults and, sadly, their defensive responses serve only to escalate the distress being experienced by the young people around them. In this situation, teenagers will rightly feel that adults do not understand them and they are pushed further into seeking comfort and protection from their often equally troubled peers. Of course, what the teenagers cannot yet consciously see is that those parents, teachers and other adults who respond defensively to them need as much, and often more, understanding and help than the teenagers themselves.

Adults who are in turmoil themselves cannot recognise the underlying wisdom and tend to respond to adolescents’ troubling responses with blame, exasperation, aggression, over-protection, ridicule