A Bad Boy Stole My Bra

“Well I’m rooting for it.”

“Thanks,” Alec grunts, scratching the back of his neck. I’m finding it hard to contain my laughter. “Say, haven’t you two got somewhere to be?”

“Sure, let’s leave them be and check on the drinks.” Marie tugs at a reluctant Fiona’s arm.

“But I want to make them even more uncomfortable!” Fiona whines playfully as Marie tugs her away. “It was so nice meeting you, Riley! Don’t hurt my boy!” They disappear into the crowd standing near the bar, leaving Alec and I in an uncomfortable and amusing silence.

“Well . . .” I begin, “she was not what I was expecting.”

“She surprised me too. Although she wasn’t as embarrassing as some of the relatives that came up to me while you were in the restroom.” Alec grimaces. “It was so bad, Greene. They were asking about our ‘relationship’.”

“Oh.”

“Yep,” he says. “And Riley?”

“What?”

“If my mom’s friends ever ask how we met . . . You snuck into my room one night and stole my boxers for a dare. Completely unprovoked.”

“What?”

“I’m joking, jeez!”

“Don’t joke about something like that!”

“I think it’s about time I stifle your fuse, Greene. I don’t think the world could handle the explosion of bitchiness.

“Go get your man, Riley!” Dylan calls as I reach the doors.
Oh, I’m planning to.

I think I’m in love with this girl; she’s a genius.

You and I are like butt cheeks,” Alec drawls. “Although there’s crap between us, we always stick together.”

I’ve got red, you’ve got blue . . . Wanna make purple?” Alec winks, leaning in to make kissy noises in my ear.

“You and I are like butt cheeks,” Alec drawls. “Although there’s crap between us, we always stick together.”

I sigh.
“Is your face from McDonalds? Because” – he pauses to wink at me – “I am lovin’ it.”

Would you like to be my girlfriend? If yes, then breathe. If no, then lick your elbow

But I already know you want to be my girlfrien.”

“You mean girlfriend,” I correct him.

“What?”

“You didn’t pronounce the ‘D’. . .”

“Oh.” Alec smirks. “Don’t you worry about that. You’ll get the D later.”

Honey, you’re so sweet that you’ll put Hershey’s out of business,” Alec drawls. “And speaking of Hershey’s – how about a kiss