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277 printed pages
Quotes
- browniehas quoted4 years ago
My house was messy. I wouldn’t say dirty but kind of…cluttered. There were always little piles of things everywhere. I’m not saying this is a Jewish tendency specifically, but almost every Jewish parent’s house I’ve been to is like this. Nothing is put away. Everything is laid out in organized little stacks that are everywhere. Jews like to see all their belongings. We like to know what we’ve got at all times, just in case we gotta pack up shop and get the fuck out of town. - browniehas quoted3 years agoThe first is the Typewriter, which involves pinning your child victim to the ground with a knee over each of his arms to incapacitate him. You then tap on the child’s chest, HARD, as though you are Tom Hanks testing out a vintage Imperial, and then SLAP the child in the face to reset the reel. (Yes, that is a reference to Tom Hanks’s well-known love of antique typewriters.)
- browniehas quoted3 years agoMaybe that’s why Jews are Jewish. It’s more vague and casts a wider net than other religions. “I’m a Hindu.” “I’m a Muslim.” “I’m Jew…ish.” Less commitment is involved when “ish” is in the mix. I’m not starving. I’m hungry-ish. I’m not freezing. I’m cold-ish. I’m not a Jew, but I’m for sure Jewish. Who isn’t? Even Idris Elba does some things that are Jewish.
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