The Xenophobe's Guide to the Japanese

The quintessence of unspoken mutual understanding is to be found in the word yoroshiku: ‘You have understood what I want you to do. I have understood that you have understood what I want you to do. Therefore I leave it up to you to finish the task and I expect it to be done in the way I want it to be done. And I thank you for understanding me and agreeing to take the trouble to do the task.’ All this in four syllables.

Under the mat, behind the words
The Japanese read between the lines, or, to be exact, behind the words. Everyone knows the true state of things, that behind the tatemae – the ‘official position’ or what is expressed in words – is a honne, ‘true voice’, an undefined mass of human emotions reflecting the actual state of affairs. This stays in the background, to be discerned by the discerning. The Japanese will quietly walk away, mentally if not physically, from anyone who fails to recognise this distinction.

“The Japanese have perfected the art of deliberately

Nationalism & Identity
The ins and outs of being Japanese
To the Japanese, the world is split into two kinds: ‘we Japanese’ and everyone else (or, vaguely, ‘Westerners’, for everywhere, even Hawaii, is west of Japan).
Five-sixths of Japan is uninhabitable because it is so mountainous that it is only suitable for pine trees, and there are no roads, houses, or factories. The remaining one-sixth, mostly on the coast, is uninhabitable because there is nothing but roads, houses and factories. This means the Japanese live on top of each other, so any idea of individuality, of not relying on another person, is well and truly expunged from the psyche.
“Individuality and selfishness are as welcome as a sumo wrestler barging the line at a buffet.”

Understanding each other’s hidden meanings perfectly whatever they appear to say is not as extraordinary as it sounds since, unless they are the closest of friends, what they say to each other is limited to about twenty phrases. They pick up minute clues to the speaker’s real feelings from, for example, their expression, the tone of voice, the cut of their suit, or the probability of precipitation that day.
The Japanese have also perfected the art of deliberately misunderstanding each other in order not to cause loss of face. For instance, you ask at the ice-cream stall what’s in his Supa-Kureemu. The vendor will give a detailed description: vanilla and strawberry ice-cream, pistachio nuts, topped with glazed honey and chocolate sauce. “I’ll have two please,” you say. “Sorry, none left,” comes the reply.
It’s all a polite way out of any mutual loss of face. The seller forlornly hoped the customer would decide against it so he wouldn’t have to admit he was out of stock. He answers precisely what he is asked. This happens all the time in Japan. If a potentially embarrassing issue can be postponed or avoided altogether, it will be. Great for avoiding offence, but it’s a bit of a bummer if you want an ice-cream on a hot day.