Sarah Kurchak

I Overcame My Autism and All I Got Was This Lousy Anxiety Disorder

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Sarah Kurchak is autistic. She hasn’t let that get in the way of pursuing her dream to become a writer, or to find love, but she has let it get in the way of being in the same room with someone chewing food loudly, and of cleaning her bathroom sink. In I Overcame My Autism and All I Got Was This Lousy Anxiety Disorder, Kurchak examines the Byzantine steps she took to become “an autistic success story,” how the process almost ruined her life and how she is now trying to recover.

Growing up undiagnosed in small-town Ontario in the eighties and nineties, Kurchak realized early that she was somehow different from her peers. She discovered an effective strategy to fend off bullying: she consciously altered nearly everything about herself—from her personality to her body language. She forced herself to wear the denim jeans that felt like being enclosed in a sandpaper iron maiden. Every day, she dragged herself through the door with an elevated pulse and a churning stomach, nearly crumbling under the effort of the performance. By the time she was finally diagnosed with autism at twenty-seven, she struggled with depression and anxiety largely caused by the same strategy she had mastered precisely. She came to wonder, were all those years of intensely pretending to be someone else really worth it?

Tackling everything from autism parenting culture to love, sex, alcohol, obsessions and professional pillow fighting, Kurchak’s enlightening memoir challenges stereotypes and preconceptions about autism and considers what might really make the lives of autistic people healthier, happier and more fulfilling.
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268 printed pages
Original publication



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    Леночкаhas quoted4 months ago
    it’s amazing how much you can accomplish when you’re young, overly intense and have no silly distractions like friends or a life to get in your way.
    Леночкаhas quoted4 months ago
    I’ve also discovered that listening to each other info dump about our favourite things is a legitimate—and amazing—form of autistic communication. It doesn’t matter if we know or care about the subject or not, we just love the enthusiasm. After lifetimes of being told that we don’t know how to share properly, some of us are beginning to realize that maybe other people could learn a thing or two about listening. And that they’re missing out.
    Леночкаhas quoted4 months ago
    The less that society tolerates characteristics like rugged individuality, oddness, bluntness and behaviour that could be interpreted as aggression from someone of your race, gender, sexuality, abilities or economic situation, the more you’ll need to hide any sign of them just to stay alive.
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