Happily Ever After

unresolved conflicts accompanied by arguing destroy marriages. Conflicts that are resolved by listening to each other, respecting each other, and negotiating solutions will strengthen our marriages.

When we accept conflicts as a normal part of marital team dynamics, we will create time to listen to each other. We will learn how to listen effectively so that we understand our spouse’s thoughts, desires, and feelings. And together, we will find solutions that allow us to work together as a team, supporting each other rather than allowing our differences to divide us.

Conflicts give us an opportunity to demonstrate our love, respect, and admiration for each other.

In a healthy marriage, the partners work together as a team to help each other accomplish the objectives and goals that each believes he or she is destined to fulfill.

Marital conflicts are inevitable, but arguing is an option—an unhealthy option.

Arguing is based on the unspoken assumption that “my way is the best way.” Arguing seeks to prove that the spouse’s ideas are inferior. Arguing stimulates negative emotions. Arguing communicates condemnation and strikes at the other person’s self-esteem.

If we simply follow our feelings, we will treat each other kindly when we have positive feelings, and we will treat each other harshly when we have negative feelings. Husbands and wives who allow their emotions to control their behavior will forever be arguing. On the other hand, those who choose an attitude of love and seek to implement it on a daily basis will create a climate where conflicts can be resolved in a way that respects the opinions and feelings of both spouses.

Couples who fail to understand that love is an attitude rather than a feeling may never find marital unity.

Many couples do not understand that love is a choice and not a feeling. It is a decision to look out for the best interests of their spouse

Every unresolved conflict stands as a barrier to marital harmony. Every resolved conflict brings a deeper sense of intimacy.