An American woman detailed similar sensations in an anonymous account of her pyromania in 2001. She had had a difficult childhood, she said: an older stepbrother had sexually abused her
when she was about ten, and her mother suffered from alcoholism and bipolar disorder. ‘Fire became a part of my vocabulary in my preschool days,’ she recalled. ‘During the summers our home would be evacuated because the local mountains were ablaze. I would watch in awe.’ She became obsessed with fires: lighting them, reading about them, watching movies about them, listening to songs about them, discussing them, smelling them. She was enthralled by a fire’s leap and light and power. She set fires, she said, when she felt empty or when she sensed that anxiety was taking her over. ‘I may feel abandoned, lonely or bored,’ she wrote. ‘I sometimes experience severe headaches, a rapid heartbeat, uncontrollable motor movements in my hands, and tingling pain in my right arm.’ The crackle and heat of a fire seemed to burn away her tension.
As a student at the University of California in the spring of 1993, the young woman was caught setting several fires on campus. She was committed to a psychiatric ward but discharged in the summer to take up an internship with a congressional representative in Washington DC. In the eight years since, she had been admitted to hospital another thirty-three times, and variously diagnosed with psychosis, depression, obsessive-compulsive and borderline personality disorders. Her inner world was still lit by fire. ‘My dreams are about fires that I have set, want to set, or wish I had set,’ she wrote. And in her waking hours, she continued to pursue her craving for flames. She felt sadness and anguish when one of her fires was put out, she said, and a yearning to set another fire.