ADHD and Sex

Newly revised 2023

From the leading expert on Adult ADHD and Relationships, Gina Pera.

This is the first guide to understanding how poorly managed ADHD can interfere with sexual intimacy—and how to heal your relationship.
“Gina, sex is difficult for people with ADHD; it's tough to stay focused!” says a female friend who has ADHD. Staying focused during intimacy is only one issue challenging couples affected by adult ADHD.
Even many mental-healthcare professionals assume that sex constitutes an “ADHD Free” zone. That is, when it comes to sex, brain-based challenges with attention, organization, mood-regulation, or motivation don’t matter or—in the minds of skeptics—don’t even exist.
Yes, sexual expression is yet another one of those areas—like sleep—where the public and professionals alike often fail to connect the dots to ADHD symptoms. As Gina Pera writes in her first book, Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?:

“When ADHD does create significant sexual problems, it usually falls into two categories: The ADHD partner initiates sex all the time or almost never. In the sexual relationship as in elsewhere with ADHD, we encounter variable challenges in self-regulation and summoning motivation.”
In between these two extremes, always and never, there lies a range of ADHD-charged issues that can drive apart couples—if they don’t know what they’re dealing with or what strategies to implement. Ignorance about this critically important connection between ADHD and sexual intimacy creates enormous hurt.
In this Kindle book (125 book pages), you will find four major sections:
(1) An expanded version of Chapter 6 in Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?—detailing the myriad ways in which ADHD can affect the sexual relationship. Knowledge paves the path to problem-solving.
(2) An eight-step strategy toward leaving the ADHD roller coaster and entering the Tunnel of Love
(3) Post-Orgasm Irritability—A look at a common enough but little recognized phenomenon. It's one that leaves many people confused and stuck in a disturbing pattern. BONUS: Two downloadable books from the early 20th Century that address this post-orgasm phenomenon and promote overall relationship intimacy in an intriguing way.
(4) Adults with ADHD and Their Partners Speak Out—a curated, categorized selection of comments on the first blog post ever on ADHD and Sex, in 2009. Along with Gina’s responses. Consider it the first step in finding community—and finding your voice.