How to Find Yourself

There comes a point in many people’s lives when they feel quite keenly that they have absolutely no idea who they are.

“Who am I? And what do I really want out of this life?”

Self-discovery can’t happen unless we think that our identity is something valuable and worth not only investigating, but caring for and cherishing.

Maybe you came from a family where the unspoken lesson was, “Being different is bad.” You learned that to get affection and care, you needed to obey and be like everyone else. Being raised this way, you might even feel like the path of personal discovery is just a selfish indulgence, or dangerous somehow, because you might find yourself abandoned or kicked out of “the group” if you try to be unique.

Such a person may grow up to be a people-pleaser. Others might describe them in amazing terms, but when this person is alone with themselves, they may feel profoundly empty. What do they want? They’re not even sure. Because they have spent so much time focusing their energy and attention externally, they are completely unused to looking inside themselves. They have only practiced serving the needs of others, and they have no idea what their own needs are

They’re not even sure. Because they have spent so much time focusing their energy and attention externally, they are completely unused to looking inside themselves. They have only practiced serving the needs of others, and they have no idea what their own needs are.

When you know yourself, you’re happier. Plain and simple. This is because you don’t spend effort and time on avoiding or denying who you are. You can relax and be open. When you can express who you are and what you want, other people can see you, and you are more likely to actually get the things you most need. You can let go of dull feelings of alienation and actually start to enjoy yourself—enjoy your self. You can gain immense satisfaction out of just being you. How great is that?

You see, the little things add up. In a real way, we are nothing more than the sum of all the tiny actions we take day in and day out. The small choices.

Many people put off the dream of delving more deeply into who they are because, on some level, they know that doing so will completely turn their world upside down.

You’ve probably heard of people who make massive life improvements only to find that the people they thought of as their friends actually preferred it when that person has low self-esteem and didn’t achieve much