Animal

One man like that can be responsible for every big and small thing in a woman’s life. A woman he isn’t married to whom he doesn’t think very much about at all. But it’s not the man’s fault. The man is nothing. It’s what you think you are missing inside of yourself. I promise that you are missing nothing

You can’t unlove someone, I wrote. You can only hate them

You must remember that most people don’t like to hear when bad things happen. They can tolerate only a little here and there. The bad things must be comestible. If there are too many bad things, they plug their ears and vilify the victim. But a hundred very bad things happened to me. Am I supposed to be quiet? Bear my pain like a good girl? Or shall I be very bad and take it out on the world? Either way I won’t be loved

My next emotion was rage. It was more well defined than the happiness because I was better acquainted with rage. At what? Everything. Everyone. I wanted to kill the world. I knew that at the very least I would kill someone.

Even my good dreams were nightmares, as anyone who has lost someone important knows.

It got to the point that there was nobody I didn’t want to kill

He held his arm in front of me like a gentleman. He tried to cover my eyes, but I wanted to look. I wanted to look at the next man who had come along to ruin my life

Her eyes were so little. I was tired of being a sponge. I wanted to kill her for saying something so silly.

There is nothing in the world better than the past.

I worried that with every man I
met, either I was going to want him or he was going to want me. It had never truly been both at once