Woody

It was then that I remembered my crisp bag trick. That was definitely something that I could do, and it was always popular.

So it was, after hours and hours – at least it seemed to me – of listening to my friends’ songs, performances and poetry that I took to the stage.

I took Mum’s kitchen timer out of my pocket, set it to sixty seconds and placed it right in the middle of the stage in front of me. Quick as a flash I whipped a bag of crisps out of my other pocket and started to gobble them up as fast as I could.

It’s a lot harder than you think, as crisps are dry and need quite a lot of chewing, but I was confident. I had done it before. I could do it again.

The timer pinged. Quickly, I blew into the empty bag, clenched the top shut and popped it. Triumphantly I held up the empty bag, stamped my foot, flung out my arms and shouted, “Ta-dah!”

Surely that was brilliant?