Self-Compassion

According to Henri Tajfel’s social identity theory, when we incorporate a group into our identity, we derive our sense of self-worth from being a member of that group. We therefore become heavily invested in seeing “us” positively and “them” negatively. It’s our investment in social identities that underlies group discrimination and racism. The reason I want to see your gender-ethnic-racial-political-national group as inferior is because it validates the preeminence of my own group, thereby giving me a sense of pride and righteous superiority.

the key to happiness was understanding that suffering is caused by resisting pain. We can’t avoid pain in life, he said, but we don’t necessarily have to suffer because of that pain.

rumination on negative thoughts and emotions stems from the underlying desire to be safe.

Whenever you notice you are in pain, you have three potential courses of action.
• You can give yourself kindness and care.
• You can remind yourself that encountering pain is part of the shared human experience.
• You can hold your thoughts and emotions in mindful awareness.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Pain is unavoidable; suffering is optional.

The more we resist the fact of what is happening right now, the more we suffer.

Our emotional suffering is caused by our desire for things to be other than they are.

Suffering = Pain x Resistance

Yes, I hurt. But I also feel care and concern. I am both the comforter and the one in need of comfort. There is more to me than the pain I am feeling right now, I am also the heartfelt response to that pain.