fiddler, there is an uproar at once, fun begins, they set off dancing, and I could not tell you all the pranks that are played.
But best of all is when they crowd together and fall to guessing riddles or simply babble. Goodness, what stories they tell! What tales of old times they unearth! What terrible things they describe! But nowhere are such stories told as in the cottage of the beekeeper Rudy Panko. Why the villagers call me Rudy Panko, I really cannot say. My hair, I fancy, is more grey nowadays than red. But think what you like of it, it is our habit – when a nickname has once been given, it sticks to a man all his life. Good people meet together at the beekeeper’s on the eve of a holiday, sit down to the table – and then you have only to listen! And I may say, the guests are by no means of the humbler sort, mere peasants; their visit would be an honour for someone of more consequence than a beekeeper. For instance, do you know the sacristan of the Dikanka church, Foma Grigoryevitch? Ah, he has a head! What stories he can reel off! You will find two of them in this book. He never wears one of those homespun dressing-gowns that you so often see on village sacristans; no, if you go to see him, even on working days he will always receive you in a gaberdine of fine cloth of the colour of cold potato mash, for which he paid almost six roubles a yard at Poltava. As for his high boots, no one in the village has ever said that they smelt of tar; every one knows that he rubs them with the very best fat, such as I believe many a peasant would be glad to put in his porridge. Nor would any one ever say that he wipes his nose on the skirt of his gaberdine, as many men of his calling do; no, he takes from his bosom a clean, neatly folded white handkerchief embroidered on the hem with red cotton, and after putting it to its proper use, folds it up in twelve as his habit is, and puts it back in his bosom.
And one of the visitors . . . Well, he is such a fine young gentleman that you might take him for an assessor or a kammerherr [2] any minute. Sometimes he would hold up his finger, and looking at the tip of it, begin telling a story – as choicely and cleverly as though it were printed in a book! Sometimes you listen and listen and begin to be puzzled. You can’t make head or tail of it, not if you were to hang for it. Where did he pick up such words? Foma Grigoryevitch once told him a funny story in mockery of this. He told him how a student who had been having lessons from a deacon came back to his father such a Latin scholar that he had forgotten our orthodox tongue: he put us on