Summary : Give And Take – Adam Grant

relational accounts" – that you're negotiating to do what's right for your team or your company. T

When you're advocating for someone else, it's easier to be more assertive. For example, if you think of yourself as representing the interests of your family, you won't just take the first offer which gets made. You will push back and try to maximize the benefits which will flow through to your family. By advocating for your family, you can offset your natural giver tendencies and push for more.

To avoid being victimized by takers, you've got to get out of the habit of giving first and then asking questions later. Instead, you need to start doing sincerity scanning.

Some givers trust everyone, even those who are out to do them harm. They end up getting taken advantage of by hustlers and others.
Some givers are so empathetic they give their work away rather than extracting its full value. Or they get caught up in helping so much they don't have time to do good work themselves.
Some givers are so timid they don't promote themselves properly and therefore get passed over for promotions they have earned.

When concern for others is coupled with a healthy dose of concern for the self, givers are less prone to burning out and getting burned—and they’re better positioned to flourish.”

The intelligent altruists, though less altruistic than the unintelligent altruists, will be fitter than both unintelligent altruists and selfish individuals.”

Chunk your giving – do all your giving in one block where you can feel and see the impact rather than spreading it out where it becomes less noticeable.