Sarah can also try using language that reflects a third-person perspective, just like John in the previous case. For example, instead of saying "I am so angry right now," she can say "Sarah is feeling angry." This simple change in language can help create mental distance between herself and her feelings, allowing her to observe the situation more objectively.
From this perspective, Sarah is able to see that her partner is also feeling hurt and upset, and that both of them are contributing to the conflict. She is able to suspend some of her immediate emotional reactions and take a more objective view of the situation. This allows her to consider her behavior and communication more carefully, and to make more deliberate choices that can help de-escalate the conflict and move toward resolution.