The Xenophobe's Guide to the Icelanders

The use of patronyms has the potential to make the telephone directory one of the most difficult books in the world to follow.”

Thirty years ago knitting would have rated a score as high on the national obsession scale as politics and the weather.

Both men and women knitted.

Farmers’ wives were even said to have knitted while they made love.

A beautiful product of all this endeavour is the lopi, the sweater with the characteristic half-moon of intricate patterning around the neck. Those made for sale to visitors tend to be made with the addition of soft imported wool, because the wool from Icelandic sheep (which have long guard hairs to keep out winter’s chills) is coarse.

No Icelandic words inhabit the international lexicon, though the Icelanders do lay claim to several of Viking origin that have found their way into English. Best of all they like berserk, probably deriving from ‘bear-skin’ and used as a term for warriors who fought with the strength of ten men and were immune to pain. It is likely that berserkers were totally intoxicated, a condition much favoured by the population.

one time it was discovered that a Georgian lawyer had taught himself Icelandic. He did not know any Icelanders and had done it purely for his own enjoyment, translating a quantity of Icelandic literature into his own language. The Icelanders were so impressed and grateful, they invited the man and his wife to Iceland at the country’s expense, and wined and dined them for the entire two months.

The traditional drink in Icelandic cafés is coffee which varies from just drinkable to lethal. I

It is said that God’s gift to the Icelanders was a virgin land of incomparable beauty and diversity. The price modern Icelanders have to pay for the gift is the cost of alcohol.

Making alcohol more accessible has reduced the amount consumed, but has had no effect on the nature of drinking. Icelanders do not understand social drinking. They drink purely to get drunk, a condition they seek with maximum enthusiasm at minimum expense. I