Read People Like a Book: How to Analyze, Understand, and Predict People’s Emotions, Thoughts, Intentions, and Behaviors

“actions speak louder than words”

Projection is a defense mechanism that can cause considerable damage and chaos if not understood for what it is. In this case, we place unwanted and unclaimed feelings onto someone or something else rather than seeing that they are a part of ourselves. We do not recognize our own “dark side” and project it onto others, blaming them for our shortcomings or seeing our flaws in their actions.

Even the least emotionally and socially intelligent people can learn something about other people if they engage with them long enough.

denial and rationalization.

dark exists because of light

we look for patterns.

The next time you meet someone, quickly run through the following questions to help you see them on a deeper level:
What is this person actively and consciously portraying to me right now?
What might this person be unwilling to acknowledge about themselves?
How might this unacknowledged part of themselves be unconsciously driving the behavior I see on the surface?
How is this person making me feel right now? Do I feel like they are projecting onto me or triggering my own shadow?
How can I communicate compassion and understanding for what’s in their shadow, right now?

Very astute and observant people know that what a person insults you with is often nothing more than the label they can’t acknowledge they actually give themselves. If you realize this, you can keep your cool in such a conversation. If not, you may get hooked into a mutual ego-defense session—i.e., an argument—with the person, unknowingly accepting their invitation to play a particular shadow game with them.

Crossing, closing in, or shutting off – could signal guardedness, suspicion, shyness
Expanding, opening, loosening – signals friendliness, comfort, trust, relaxation
Forward, pointed, directed – may speak to dominance, control, persuasiveness
Preening, touching, stroking – shows romantic intentions
Striking, abruptness, force, loudness – signal energy or violence, sometimes fear
Repeating, agreement, mirroring – shows respect, friendliness, admiration, submission

Pay attention also to asymmetry in facial expressions. Natural, spontaneous, and genuine expressions of emotion tend to be symmetrical. Forced, fake, or conflicting expressions tend not to be. And again, try to interpret what you see in context, and consider the whole person, including other body language.