To disagree constructively with your manager, show respect and understanding for her point of view, and demonstrate that you care about achieving the best result for the organization. Here are some ways to do that:
• Link your idea directly with your manager’s and your organization’s goals. This will show that you are motivated by a desire to collaborate and achieve shared aims, not to be contrary.
• Provide suggestions that your manager can act on, not just objections. You can say something like, “How about contacting others in the industry who have used this system to see if they’re having the same problems? Would you like me to draw up a list of people to call and schedule some time with them?”
• Explain how your idea can prevent pitfalls. Identify those pitfalls in precise terms, and present supporting data to show that your proposal is fact-based rather than emotional.
• Offer a range of options. Binary choices (“Your way or my way”) are likely to meet resistance. Suggesting a few possibilities signals your flexibility and invites your manager to respond in kind.
• Give verbal and nonverbal feedback. Use phrases such as “I see” or “I know what you mean.” Nod or smile to indicate understanding.
• Avoid “hot button” language. If, for example, your boss always recoils when someone describes an approach as a “best practice” or “the next big thing,” find another way to express yourself.
• Reflect your manager’s concerns as you speak. For instance, “I understand that you’re worried about how this new plan will work, and I was initially concerned about that, too. But when I did some research, I realized something important . . .”