They reckon you have to be a famous celebrity, climbed Mount Everest or lived through a war to write an autobiography. Well I haven't done any of those but I have written a musical, and had it performed on stage, appeared on TV and in national newspapers for various little escapades, and tried to live life to the full. People who know me call me eccentric or a touch bizarre and I have been described as “off the wall” (not sure of the origin of that or even if it fits). I have been called worse behind my back no doubt, but for better or worse the contents of this book are a bit of a record of what I've been getting up to in the past sixty odd years or so. You've picked this book off the shelf and read this bit so do give the inside a try. It's good for a laugh if nothing else. Although do remember. PLEASE DON'T TRY MOST OF THIS AT HOME