There’s an ancient text, the story of Sinuhe, who flees his native country. When he leaves Egypt, he says, My heart is not in my body. To the Ancient Egyptians, for whom the heart was the site of intellect and emotion and faith, it was the same as saying: I have lost my mind.
Whatever happens, whatever I gain, it is going to be tempered by loss.
My heart is not in my body, I think.