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David Wong

John Dies at the End

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My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrock, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defence is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part about the bratwurst. Why? You'll just have to trust me. Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we'll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherwordly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT…
This book is currently unavailable
528 printed pages
Original publication
2011
Publication year
2011
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Impressions

  • b4659214763shared an impression4 years ago
    👍Worth reading
    🚀Unputdownable

  • b2332585219shared an impression4 years ago
    👍Worth reading
    😄LOLZ

  • Carolina Ladeshared an impression5 years ago
    👍Worth reading
    🚀Unputdownable
    😄LOLZ

Quotes

  • Enver Shirinbaylihas quoted9 years ago
    Let’s say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don’t worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you’re the one who shot him.
  • Michael Nockovhas quoted2 years ago
    “And you guys will come see me out in Utah? I’m serious about this now. I’m gonna be mad if you don’t.”

    “Sure, Amy. You and me can share a room, John can sleep with the lesb-”

    “And you’ll look after Molly? And take care of my house?”

    By “take care of” she meant “destroy.” We had talked about that, decided to burn the place down. Our only point of disagreement is I wanted to make it look like an accident to collect the insurance money. She wanted to do the opposite, let the insurance lapse and just blatantly torch the place.

    We kissed and said some gooey things to each other that would sound silly if you weren’t there. I stood around and waited for her to board, passing through security and letting them check her shoes and all that shit, watched her walk away and kept watching out of a terminal window as her plane climbed and turned into a speck in the sky. I didn’t cry. And if you think I did, good luck proving it, asshole.
  • Michael Nockovhas quoted2 years ago
    On the David Wong Social Awkwardness Scale, with “1” being going to the “Pickup” instead of “Order” counter at a restaurant and “10” being a guy getting caught on national TV having sex with a dead baboon, I’d have to say that the following minutes alone with Amy rated about a 9.6.

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