Turtles All the Way Down

You think you’re the painter, but you’re the canvas.

“We still have the best and the worst of it in front of us,” I said.

“I hope not,” he said. “I sure as hell hope the worst is behind me.”

“Nobody gets anybody else, not really. We’re all stuck inside ourselves.”

The worst part of being truly alone is you think about all the times you wished that everyone would just leave you be. Then they do, and you are left being, and you turn out to be terrible company.

“The world is a globe—the farther you sail, the closer to home you are.”

—TERRY PRATCHETT

I am going to stand up and exit the conversation now with whatever self-respect I still have.

one:

“I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.”

—CHARLOTTE BRONTË

“I’m really not looking to date anyone.” I know people often say that when secretly looking for a romantic partner, but I meant it. I definitely felt attracted to some people, and I liked the idea of being with someone, but the actual mechanics of it didn’t much suit my talents. Like, parts of typical romantic relationships that made me anxious included 1. Kissing; 2. Having to say the right things to avoid hurt feelings; 3. Saying more wrong things while trying to apologize; 4. Being at a movie theater together and feeling obligated to hold hands even after your hands become sweaty and the sweat starts mixing together; and 5. The part where they say, “What are you thinking about?” And they want you to be, like, “I’m thinking about you, darling,” but you’re actually thinking about how cows literally could not survive if it weren’t for the bacteria in their guts, and how that sort of means that cows do not exist as independent life-forms, but that’s not really something you can say out loud, so you’re ultimately forced to choose between lying and seeming weird.

“Whether it hurts is kind of irrelevant.”
“That’s a pretty good life motto,” he said.

I think this is good-bye, my friends, although, then again: No one ever says good-bye unless they want to see you again.

she told me that beauty was mostly a matter of attention. “The river is beautiful because you are looking at it,” she said.