The Power of Nunchi: The Korean Secret to Happiness and Success

ally yourself with the right people, distance yourself from the wrong people

To use this technique, inhale for four

counts, hold your breath for seven counts, and exhale for eight counts; repeat. Why the weird irregular numbers? Precisely because they’re irregular, you have to concentrate on counting. This distracts the mind while the oxygen relaxes it.

Box breathing is so called because it is done in four stages. Inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, hold for four counts; repeat.

deep breaths reduce anxiety and clear the head. This creates a clean path for your nunchi to work.

Two very effective breathing techniques are the 4-7-8 and box breathing.

Both techniques will trigger your brain to slow down the release of cortisol

—the stress hormone.

the best shortcut to centering yourself is to breathe deeply.

Nunchi has three major aspects: one is creating harmony; another is getting what you want; and the third is staying out of danger.

People tell you a lot about themselves when you first meet them, even if they don’t say a word. Nunchi can help you to listen, but only if you remember Nunchi Rule #1: First, empty your mind. When you let go of your ideas about what you think should or should not be happening in a situation, you become open to understanding what is actually happening.

“If you want to know what someone is really saying, turn down the volume.” This seems like a contradiction, but it’s not. It means: don’t take a person’s words as being an exact reflection of their thoughts. Study the context, study nonverbal cues. In other words, don’t judge a book by its cover. Often people’s words are just that—a cover.

Il faut tourner sept fois sa langue dans sa bouche avant de parler.

(You should turn your tongue in your mouth seven times before you speak.)

“Empty your cup, so that it may be filled.” When it comes to reading the room, think of

the room as a pool of water, and yourself as the cup. How will you be able to discern the temperature and the taste of the water if your own cup is already full to the brim?

When your mind is full of assumptions about people and situations, it is hard to see what is right in front of you, and to behave in the most appropriate manner.

The Eight Rules of Nunchi

1. First, empty your mind. Lose your preconceptions in order to observe with discernment.

2. Be aware of the Nunchi Observer Effect. When you enter a room, you change the room. Understand your influence.

3. If you just arrived in the room, remember that everyone else has been there longer than you. Watch them to gain information.

4. Never pass up a good opportunity to shut up. If you wait long enough, most of your questions will be answered without you having to say a word.

5. Manners exist for a reason.

6. Read between the lines. People don’t always say what they are thinking and that’s their prerogative.

7. If you cause harm unintentionally, it’s sometimes as bad as if you’d caused it intentionally.

8. Be nimble, be quick.