“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today—against our will—to unexpectedly watch this frog and woman join in questionable matrimony. Do you, Charlie Charming, take Red Riding Hood as your lovably high-maintenance wife?”
“I do,” Froggy declared.
“And do you, Red Riding Hood, take Charlie Charming as your adorably webfooted husband?”
“I do,” Red said.
“Then it is with the power mistrusted in me that I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the frog!”