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Jen Campbell

Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

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  • b8450169178has quoted3 years ago
    accepting people different to themselves
  • b7632817727has quoted4 years ago
    ‘Happy Birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too’
  • Kseniya Arefyevahas quoted4 years ago
    CUSTOMER: Do you have security cameras in here?

    BOOKSELLER: Yes.

    CUSTOMER: Oh. (customer slides a book out from inside his jacket and places it back on the shelf)
  • Kseniya Arefyevahas quoted4 years ago
    CUSTOMER: OK, so you want this book?

    THEIR DAUGHTER: Yes!

    CUSTOMER: Peter Pan?

    THEIR DAUGHTER: Yes, please. Because he can fly.

    CUSTOMER: Yes, he can – he’s very good at flying.

    THEIR DAUGHTER: Why can’t I fly, daddy?

    CUSTOMER: Because of evolution, sweetheart.
  • Kseniya Arefyevahas quoted4 years ago
    CUSTOMER: Do you have any books on the dark arts?

    BOOKSELLER: . . . No.

    CUSTOMER: Do you have any idea where I could find some?

    BOOKSELLER: Why don’t you try Knockturn Aley?

    CUSTOMER: Where’s that?

    BOOKSELLER: Oh, the centre of London.
  • Kseniya Arefyevahas quoted4 years ago
    BOOKSELLER: OK, so with postage that brings your total to £13.05. One second and I’l get the card machine.

    CUSTOMER: No. No, absolutely not. I demand that you charge me £12.99. I wil not pay for anything that starts with thirteen.

    You’re trying to give me bad luck. Now, change it, or I wil go to a bookshop which doesn’t want me to fal down a hole and die.

    OK?
  • Kseniya Arefyevahas quoted4 years ago
    PERSON: Hi, I’m looking for a Mr. Patrick.

    BOOKSELLER: No one of that name works here, sorry.

    PERSON: But does he live here?

    BOOKSELLER: . . . No one lives here; we’re a bookshop.

    PERSON: Are you sure?
  • Hasyemi Rafsanjani Asyarihas quoted4 years ago
    CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of Atonement? But not the film cover, please. Keira Knightley’s neck makes me want to punch things.
  • ghvsjdhdvshhas quoted5 years ago
    Yes, it was awful
  • ghvsjdhdvshhas quoted5 years ago
    Put it this way,
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