The Laws of Human Nature

You must learn how to exploit this. If you can somehow create the impression that others desire you or your work, you will pull people into your current without having to say a word or impose yourself. They will come to you. You must strive to surround yourself with this social aura, or at least create the illusion.

Or perhaps we fall in love with a person who is precisely the wrong type for us and we know it, but we cannot help ourselves.

In general, people will want to see more of you, want to see less of you, or be rather indifferent. They may fluctuate among the three states, but they will tend to veer toward one. They will reveal this in how quickly they respond to your emails or texts, their body language on first seeing you, and the overall tone they take in your presence.

Over enough time, individuals in a group will begin to split off into factions

What you require is the ability to detach yourself from this dynamic and to see the “enemy” as it is, minus the distortions.

Anton Chekhov once noted, “Love, friendship, respect do not unite people as much as common hatred for something.”

Better to be the consummate courtier and find some pleasure in the game of court strategy

One aggressive but clever courtier with little conscience can quickly dominate the group.

Be aware that the best courtiers are consummate actors and that their smiles and professions of loyalty mean very little.

Learn to downplay your successes, to listen (or seem to listen) deeply to the ideas of others, strategically giving them credit and praise in meetings, paying attention to their insecurities.