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Emily NagoskiEmily Nagoski
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The official bio is:"Emily Nagoski has a PhD in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a master’s degree (also from IU) in Counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex education."What all that means, really, is that I am here to teach women to live with confidence and joy inside their bodies. It's a small goal in the grand scheme of things - I'm not trying to bring peace to the Middle East or repair the ozone layer - but it's a goal that I think truly does have the power to change lives and, ultimately, the world.You can find me online: Twitter @enagoski Facebook Emily NagoskiMedium @emilynagoskiBlog
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It doesn’t help either you or your Feels if you shove them in your partner’s face and say, “ACCEPT THIS!” How would you respond if your partner did that to you? Unless you’re a saint of unrivaled patience and tolerance, you would get defensive—and fair enough. Shoving your Feels in your partner’s face is using your feelings as a weapon, and that’s never okay
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We don’t talk about trauma survivorship enough, and we talk even less about cosurvivorship, the emotional work of supporting a survivor. In the Western world, relatively few men—the research indicates only about 5 percent—perpetrate the overwhelming majority of assaults,11 but a lot of men have partners who have survived an assault. And yet we do almost nothing to teach men how to support survivors as intimate partners, or how to take care of themselves as cosurvivors.
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People with anxious attachment styles are the most likely to engage in anxiety-driven “solace sex”—that is, using sex as an attachment behavior—which can make sex intense without making it pleasurable. Anxious attachers worry more about sex, and yet they also equate the quality of sex with the quality of a relationship.
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