feel alone; I feel whole, complete.” One of my clients, Patrick, expressed the feeling in these words: “Before I knew Diane, I felt as though I had been spending all of my life wandering around in a big house with empty rooms. When we met, it was like opening a door and finding someone home.” Being together seemed to put an end to his relentless search for completion. He felt fulfilled, filled up. I call this the “phenomenon of reunification.”
Finally, at some point, lovers utter a fourth and final declaration of love. They tell each other: “I love you so much, I can’t live without you.” They have become so involved with each other that they can’t imagine a separate existence. I call this the “phenomenon of necessity.”