en

Melody Beattie

  • Кристина Байдебураhas quoted2 years ago
    The codependents felt responsible for so much because the people around them felt responsible for so little; they were just taking up the slack
  • Кристина Байдебураhas quoted2 years ago
    It’s more difficult to convince codependents—those who by comparison look, but don’t feel, normal—that they have problems
  • Кристина Байдебураhas quoted2 years ago
    Yet, by its nature, alcoholism and other compulsive disorders turn everyone affected by the illness into victims—people who need help even if they are not drinking, using other drugs, gambling, overeating, or overdoing a compulsion
  • Кристина Байдебураhas quoted2 years ago
    and continue giving to this bottomless pit of unmet needs we called a marriage. I was sick of shouldering the burden and feeling responsible for the success or failure of the relationship. It’s his problem, I railed silently. Let him find his solution. Leave me out of this. Don’t ask another thing of me. Just make him better, and I’ll feel better.
  • Кристина Байдебураhas quoted2 years ago
    I flashed him daggers, forced a smile, and said, “My day was okay. Thanks for asking.”
  • Кристина Байдебураhas quoted2 years ago
    Relationships are like a dance, with visible energy
    racing back and forth between the partners.
    Some relationships are the slow,
    dark dance of death.1
  • Кристина Байдебураhas quoted2 years ago
    codependency is primarily a reactionary process. Codependents are reactionaries. They overreact. They under-react. But rarely do they act. They react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. They react to their own problems, pains, and behaviors.
  • Кристина Байдебураhas quoted2 years ago
    We frequently react to people who are destroying themselves; we react by learning to destroy ourselves
  • Кристина Байдебураhas quoted2 years ago
    feel ashamed of who they are.
    think their lives aren’t worth living.
    try to help other people live their lives instead
  • Кристина Байдебураhas quoted2 years ago
    try to control events and people through helplessness, guilt, coercion, threats, advice-giving, manipulation, or domination
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