Diana Souhami

I began with pittance money but the more I won the bolder I became. I felt destined to win a million before the end of play.

My look was defiant, yours ironic. Did you respect my daring, my courage to lose?

Here in violet ink is my admission of love and pain, hope and struggle.

I have always been afraid to hear about the indifference of the universe, my own insignificance, the casual inevitability of death and the caprice of chance.

I think I was incredulous that you, though you saw my charm, resisted it and even criticised me.

You chose Mirah Lapidoth, compliant, dependent. She was the better singer and had the sweeter nature but – and I only dare write this because I will never say it to you – she was the lesser woman.